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Jon Lajoie
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F**k Everything
Yo. All the rappers claim to not give a fuck. Well step aside bitches, cause I give the lowest amount of fuck humanly possible.
What?!
(I don't a give a fuck...) About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what (I don't give a fuck...) I literally don't give a fuck about anything
I don't give a fuck about motherfuckin' anything People care about shit, I say fuck everything Fuck you, fuck me, fuck the sky, fuck trees, fuck the sun I don't need heat or Vitamin D!
And fuck toasters, I don't need to cook my bread And fuck coasters, I use a little plate instead And fuck roosters, with their useless cockadoodledoo We invented alarm clocks. We no longer need you
Don't give a fuck about chairs. I prefer to stand And fuck air conditioners - I got a ceiling fan And fuck the the movie the fan, starring Wesley Snipes Demolition man's the only Snipes movie i liked And fuck liking shit. I don't even like the stuff that I like Don't give a fuck about not liking all the shit I don't like Like tissues. Fuck them! I blow my nose on the couch
And fuck my nostrils and my sense of smell, I breathe through my mouth Don't give a fuck about seeing bitch, fuck my eyes Fuck visual perception yo, I'd rather be blind Fuck time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke And hours are way too long, they should be half an hour at most And fuck coasts, who gives a fuck about where water meets land And fuck boats, just because you float you think you're so fucking bad And fuck jokes, I don't need to be funny all the time My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, but...
(I don't a give a fuck...) About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what (I don't give a fuck...) I literally don't give a fuck about anything
Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com Walked into a coffee shop and ordered a cup The girl says 'small, medium, large?' I say 'bitch I don't give a fuck' She said 'I can't process your order if you don't pick a size' I said 'fine, I'll take a large, but I still don't give a fuck, alright?' Don't give a fuck about beverage size options motherfucker And I don't give a fuck about liquids either They're all wet and shit and tend to spill all over the place Like human semen when I get it all over my face I'm not gay, I just don't give a fuck about straight sex
And fuck my dick, I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead. Fuck biological functions, fuck the human body I prefer the body of a bat with the head of a coyote I call myself batyote and I fight crime at night I know its similar to batman but motherfuck copyright I plagiarize all the time, I do it everyday Cause I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way
And fuck birth, entering the world of space & time is a bitch Searching for purpose in the random universe sucks dick Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way Did I choose to not give a fuck about ice cube trays If I want ice I'll go to the fucking corner store and buy a bag Filling you up and waiting for the water to freeze is a motherfucking drag You know what? Fuck the word fuck, I don't need to use it I'll replace it with the word chainsaw for this (I don't a give a chainsaw...) About anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything, what (I don't give a chainsaw...) I literally don't give a chainsaw about anything
If there was a contest to see who doesn't give a fuck the most I wouldn't win cause I don't give a fuck about winning yo I don't even give a fuck about not giving a fuck, so I do give a fuck... wait, what?
(I give a fuck...) About everything, I love everyone and care about everything (I give a fuck...) I literally care about every motherfucking thing
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